has anyone ever stopped to think about what ridiculous animals goats are
WHAT THE FUCK
HOW DID YOU EVEN GET UP THERE
ARE THESE ANIMALS EVEN REAL
????? ?? ? ???????//
SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO ME
My granddad taught me [to play poker]. Then my granny taught me how to cheat. Before she got shot in Reno.
(Source: britishcomedyoverflowing, via sofeetee)
"The cliché is that love should be forever. But eternity is precisely what flattens and destroys love. If familiarity breeds contempt, just imagine how familiar you can get with a person after a thousand or a million years. God forbid we should both go to heaven. Its endlessness would make us hate each other. Better for you to be in heaven and me in hell. We would long for each other, dream of each other, idealize each other. You would rail against God, since he was keeping you from consummating your love. I would send smoke signals from my pit of brimstone - love letters that smelled like sulfur and made you choke. Maybe we would even try to sneak off to purgatory for illicit rendezvous.
You’d be an angel and me a demon, with horns and hooves like a goat, but that wouldn’t detract from our passionate reunion. Your golden halo would shake while we fucked. I’d take you from behind and the feathers on your wings would tickle my snout."
- Supervert - Fragment of a Love Letter, Necrophilia Variations (via franswissxavier)
"This is why you can’t trust women! They’re so good at makeup and wear it to fool guys into thinking they’re hot!"
shit. girls he’s on to us *washes off makeup to reveal lizard face and climbs up a wall* we will return with a new disguise. soon the power of earthly men will fall